Everyone is somebody's baby...

I had an interesting experience a few weeks ago; one I don't think I could have had if I wasn't a mother.

My husband and I were in the car and we were complaining about someone who had irritated us.

A little background though: I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, and in our church we have a program called "home teaching." A man is assigned a teaching companion and they are in turn assigned a few families to "home teach" once a month. They aren't just teachers, they are friends and servants. The purpose is to create an intricate supports system so that the needs of members can be met, be that a meal, fixing a roof, or simply friendship. There is also visiting teaching where women are assigned a companion and a list of a few women to accomplish a similar goal of fellowship, love, and service.

Time is a very valuable commodity in our house hold. My husband is a full time student and holds a full time job so most of his spare time is taken up by homework. What little time we have together is precious. We had agreed for our home teachers to come visit us ever second Sunday of the month. Since we didn't set a time except for "after church", we figured they would let us know, or call and ask to set one.

The first month, they set a time, and came.
The second month, no one called, no one came. That can be very annoying when you spend your Sunday wondering if they're just going to show up.
 The third month, the first Sunday of the week, we aren't expecting anyone. It's before church, I still look like I just crawled out from UNDER a bed and there is a knock on the door.
There is one of our home teachers, by himself, Sunday best, Ensign in hand (a magazine put out by the church that has the home teaching message in it every month)
 He is immediately caught of guard that I answered, and asked if Jake was home. I was instantly annoyed, because the fact he was dressed up with an ensign and asked for Jake meant he wanted to home teach us. Right then. He couldn't come in if Jake wasn't home, it wasn't appropriate.
I said "yes." and stood there. There was no way I was dressed to entertain, nor was my house in a state for company.
 He begins to stammer after realizing I wasn't going to get Jake and makes up a story about wanting to know if before church would be a good time for home teaching. I said no. Then I reminded him he was supposed to come next week and asked if he had our number, indicating I would prefer he call us if his true intentions were simply clarifying details.
He said that he did, but that he was already out to see someone and thought he would drop by.

He had done this to us once before, showing up unannounced to try to home teach us with out his companion, only to have us" reschedule" him for the time he was supposed to come. That was the month they didn't even show up.

So after I told him, next week after church was good, he leaves. That next Sunday no one called and no one came.

So back to the car, Jake and I were complaining about this man's lack of manners. We were both so annoyed by his random visits expecting to come in and then lack of follow through. In the middle of one of Jake's sentences I was hit with a huge wave of humility and compassion.

I thought about Kaiden, my three year old son with a severe speech delay and Aspergers. I imagined him as an adult. Although he actually doesn't have problems being social like most children with Aspergers do, he doesn't know how to be appropriately social. Which yes, some of that is his age.

I wondered if this man had some high functioning spectrum disorder, or a social delay, or any number of things that could cause him to act so impulsively. He had good intentions, just not so good consideration of others and their lives.

I thought again of Kaiden. If he is that way as an adult, I sincerely hope that whoever is on the receiving end of his well intentioned lack of manners would be understanding and compassionate whether they knew his situation or not.

And I knew the mother of this man hoped the same thing for her son.

This man is someone's baby boy all grown up, loved by a mother the way I love my boys.

I look around now when I'm out. When I see or come in contact with someone that may annoy or anger me, I try to remember that that person is someone's child. someone loves them the way I love my children. Its then I try to draw on that, look at them in a different light, and try to feel a love for them inspired by the love I have learned as a mother.

Sometimes that person wasn't loved by a mother or father the way they should have been and deserved to be as a child. Sometimes that is the reason why they can be rude to others for no reason. And those are the ones who deserve the most compassion and understanding.

However, looking around you in the grocery store, it's impossible to know who that is. And that's why everyone deserves your love. Everyone was once as innocent and sweet and easy to love as that child in your arms or the ones you see everyday in someone else's.

Everyone is somebody's baby.